Awareness
In my community, there is one registered sex offender for approximately every 987 people.
That’s just the REGISTERED ones. How many more are out there? How many are in YOUR life?
There’s one working in my place of work; another works in the grocery store where I shop. Another is the son of a co-worker. Another was a substitute teacher in my children’s school district. Another tried to join one of our volunteer organizations. Another is a permanent student who lies about his background to insert himself into a position of safety in our neighborhoods. Another has moved in just down the street from us, right across from the bus stop, and just down the street from a daycare. I’m just speaking of the ones that are currently on, or have been on the local sex offender registry. …and I live in a town of 20,000.
So far, I’ve kept all of these, and more, out of my home, away from my children. Though, sadly, we’ve seen them around many of my children’s peers.
Awareness and vigilance is required. Adults can make our children safer, but more importantly, we can make our children less of a target. We can’t always prevent this tragedy, but we can make it much less likely to happen to our children or other children in our circle.
We need to give all Moms (and those Mothering children) good, solid, factual information and resources about this real epidemic.
I target this site to Moms because that is my experience. My dear husband is an awesome father and a complete partner in my fight. He’s also a hero in his vocation, having put several of pedophiles in prison with his forensic skills. But that’s his story, his experience.
I’m writing about mine. …and about all the awesome Moms out there who listen to their instincts, bring out their inner Mama Bear, and use all available resources to protect our community’s children.
Awareness is the First Step In Prevention
Awareness of the problem is the first step in making the children in your circle of family, friends, neighborhood safer.
- There’s several predators in your circle who, given the right opportunity, would harm your children or children you know.
- They scout out Moms who are vulnerable, because they know the sad fact that a vulnerable Mom has even more vulnerable kids.
- They begin the grooming process.
- They test you to see what behaviors you’ll be ‘accepting of’…then push those limits with your children when they can manipulate time alone with them.
Single Moms Are a Primary Target of Pedophiles
- Single Moms are often struggling financially and often cannot afford daycare, good babysitters, or other high-quality arrangements
- Pedophiles will take advantage of this economic vulnerability with offers of ‘help’ in the form of babysitting, pick-up/drop-off duties, providing recreation with the kids
- Single Moms are very busy with juggling their multiple duties…and pedophiles will exploit this
- Single Moms may begin a new relationship…and pedophiles will manipulate/obfuscate as needed to enhance their chances of being ‘the chosen one’…putting out all the right signals with the main purpose of gaining access to the kids
Children Home Alone Are Targets
- Pedophiles know what to look for to find a child that is alone
- They watch busstops, patterns of traffic in a neighborhood, and ask questions of targeted children when they can. A pedo coach, for instance, might ask ‘are you ever home alone so we can practice together?’
- Children DO NOT have the ability to keep themselves safe from these predators
- Children should ALWAYS have a trusted adult to care for them
- Do Whatever you must to have someone safe for the child to come home to
Pedophiles Target Certain Victims from Certain Families
(Source: http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.com/content/82/4/457.full#sec-3)
- Parents of children who had been abused by pedophiles had notable characteristics, such as a lower overall education and a higher rate of absenteeism from home.
- The mothers of abused children had less education than control group mothers and were more likely to be single parents.
- A significant number of fathers in the molested group were absent for at least 3 years before the child turned 16 years old.
- Pedophiles were interviewed about how they selected the children they abused. The pedophiles stated they would choose vulnerable individuals (eg, children living in a divorced home, emotionally needy or unhappy children) and/or children who were receptive to their advances, even if that child did not meet the pedophile’s usual physical pattern of attraction.
Source: http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.com/content/82/4/457.full#ref-51
Vulnerable times for children
- Time of reported sexual molestations showed a distinct pattern based on the age of the child.
- Children younger than 12 years were most likely to be molested at 3:00 pm and around meal times (8:00 am, noon, 6:00 pm).2
- Assaults of 12- through 17-year-olds maintained the mealtime and after-school pattern but also started to show a more adult pattern of assault time, with assaults occurring between 8:00 pm and 2:00 am.
Source: http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.com/content/82/4/457.full#sec-3
Public Policy Change Can Help Address These Issues
- Parents who can stay at home deserve tax credits, to get social security, and supports all parents with high quality, affordable childcare
- All first-time sex offenders should get and serve the maximum sentence
- Maximum sentences should be longer
- Sentences should be the same for stranger/non-familiar abusers as family abusers. Currently, incest offenders get far less sentences.
- School Districts should get federal funding for in-school accredited counselors
- All DUI offenders who are custodial parents should have an assessment done to screen for signs of abuse or proximity of known abusers in their social circle; non-alcoholics just don’t get DUIs (especially if they have kids) and alcoholic parents just aren’t capable of keeping their children safe at all times.
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