Environmental Management
There are specific actions adults can take to create, monitor, and guard safe spaces where children are present.
This concept is called ‘environmental management.’
…and its being left up to our schools, without the needed resources, funding, or support.
Here’s some ideas for decision-makers, supervisors, parents, concerned citizens;
Environmental Management as a Tool for Prevention
Keep in mind that Environmental Management is just ONE part of a good prevention program. Education, Awareness, Communication, Fact-Checking, Harm-reduction are other parts that are crucial to minimizing the odds of victimization.
This all begins with a direct, firm communication from you, the Mommy. Pedophiles often choose the Mom or Family FIRST…so if you set the tone of ‘Don’t even THINK of messing with me or my kids’ boundary, you can minimize the change that a pedophile will continue trying to infiltrate your ‘circles’ to get at your kids. This is not foolproof by any means; a determined predator will find a way, but it is a great deterrance. Most predators are cowards and will move on to an easier target.
Environmental Management 101
In Your Home
- Know who has keys to your home. When you move to a new home, change all the locks out.
- Let ALL your guests know that your children’s rooms are theirs. This includes other family members.
- Teach your children through example that their room is theirs
- NO adult or older child should be in there after bedtime unless its YOU (or Your designee)
- That when they are changing clothes, the door and shades should be closed
- When they are showering, teach them that nobody should be in there with them
- Define personal space clearly, and privacy boundaries
- Teach your children that they get to say “No” and make it mean “No”…and begin when they are small, such as when they say “NO!” to being picked up in the air, tickled, hugged.
- Let them learn to protest when another family member violates those boundaries (little brother barges in without knocking) as the beginning of good boundary setting skills
In Your Children’s Friend’s Homes
- Know who is going to be present in the home on playdates.
- if you are not greatly familiar with all the people in there, attend with your child the first several times,В and check in on that child regularly
- instruct your child that they are NOT to be involved with any game where there is touching/looking at privates or taking pictures, and to tell you right away if someone tries to entice them into such behaviors
- get to know the layout of that home and define for your child areas where you do NOT want them to be
While Visiting Friend’s Homes
- instruct your children to come to you immediately if anything happens that makes them feel scared, worried, or sad
- instruct your children that nobody there should touch their privates, show them their privates, or pictures of privates
- upon arrival, ask for a ‘walking tour’ of the home or take a quick one yourself, and take the ‘lay of the land’; and instruct your children that they are NOT to enter areas you deem off-limits (an older sibling’s room, a basement bar, etc.)
- Keep an eye out for anything that makes you feel wary and confront it directly “Oh, you have a photography studio? How marvelous! Do you do weddings?”
- Know who else is in the home at that time and keep a watchful eye
- Here’s the big one; NEVER imbibe so much alcohol that you aren’t 100% alert to the situation around you.
- If you are going to ‘have fun’, they YOU SHOULD NOT BE THE CARETAKING ADULT. One need only to go to a 12 step meeting to hear adult children speak about the terrible things done to them while their trusted caretaker ‘was gettin’ drunk’. Hire a dedicated babysitter OR better yet, leave the babysitter and kids at home. T
While Visiting Family Members
- Put on your inner “Mama Bear” and give yourself permission to be a firm, direct (‘NOT nice’) as your instincts tell you
- prepare your children ahead of time which of your family member who are NOT allowed to be alone with them, and that NONE of them should be in the bathroom with them or in any bed
- teach your children to let you know before you go to the bathroom and when they are done. Use the catch phrase ‘did you wash your hands?’ as the signal that they can go and play. AND…teach them to lock the door when they are in there
- tell your children that nobody is allowed to hurt them, touch their privates, or make them feel scared or icky and that you want to know right away if someone does something
When Sending Your Children Off to Camp
- Get yer Mama Bear on…you’re a customer, so you have a RIGHT and an OBLIGATION to ask the tough questions
- Verify the adult to child ratio will be at least 1:5 or greater at all times
- Verify that they perform fingerprint background checks
- Ask how long you child’s camp counselor has been at the Camp
- Feel free to demand a different counselor if ANYTHING about that person makes your gut feeling alert you to something not being right
- Ask for two referrals of parents in your community and contact them to find out how they liked the camp
- Instruct your camper to let the other adults know right away if something happens that they do not like
When Allowing Your Children to Participate in Youth Sports (coming soon)
When Allowing Your Children to Participate in Church Functions (coming soon)
Leave a Reply